False Advertising
False Advertising is the first episode of Unnecessary Squad, I premiered on The Navy Raptor Network on November 5th 2015 Synopsis The Gang finds out that the only way to sell a product, is to lie about it. Transcript (The Mike and Al-X are watching TV) (on the the TV, a man is siting and playing video games) Man: Oh god, I love my Skrooyastation, it's so fucking amazing, OH YES, I love it SOOOOOOOO FUCKING MUCH, b-but nobody gets to play, except for me, because it's mine, and I love it more than my parents, who I killed, in order to play this for the rest of my life. (a bull bursts in) Man: OH MY JESUS, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? Bull: HEY! YOU STILL PLAYING THE OLD, WEAK SKROOYASTATION? Man: Um, yes,mmmmm, I love it so- (The bull impales the man) Man: OH GOD THAT HURTS! WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?! (The bull throws the man against a wall and the roof collapses on him) Bull: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!?! HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF THE ULTRA SKROOYASTATION? Man: Oh god, I think you ruptured my kidney Bull: THE ULTRA SKROOYASTATION HAS 9 BIT GRAPHICS, BUT THE OLD ONE ONLY HAS 8!! Man: Oh god, I can't feel anything Bull: SO BUY IT NOW, OR I'LL BEAT THE EVER LIVING CRAP OUT OF YOU! Man: I only had one kidney, I sold my other one to buy my Skrooyastation! Singer: I'VE GOT BUY IT, I'VE GOT TO BUY! BUY! BUY! Man: Oh geez, I see Angels, I think I'm de- (the commercial ends) (Al-X looks at his Skrooyastation) Al-X: Obselete (Al-X blows up his Skrooyastation with a bazooka) (Larry walks in) Larry: I'm back, sorry I had to-SWEET JESUS! (Larry sees the destroyed Skrooyastation) Larry: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DESTROY OUR SKROOYASTATION!?! Al-X: It was obselete Mike: Yes, a subtle ad convinced us to get rid of old 8 bit Skrooyastation in favour of a new, 9 bit, Ultra Skrooyastation! Larry: So you destroyed our only other source of entertain, for basically a more ecpensive version of the same thing? We probably can't even afford this "ultra" Screwyastation Mike: Yes, besides, we can affird a new one! (at the game shop) Mike: hello, we would like 1 Ultra Skrooyasystem Squid Cashier: That'll be £123,000 Larry: We don't have that much money (the cashier starts shaking violently) Squid Cashier: N-N-NO MONEY?!?!?!? (The Gang literally gets thrown out of the shop) Al-X: well, it seems that we have to make more money, I suggest killing everyone and robbing them of their fortunes Larry: we're not gonna do that. Mike: maybe we should sell drugs Larry: No, we're not very stealthy. Al-X: we should sell food. Lareyes: NO WE'L-actually...that's not a bad idea (back at the house) Larry: ok, do any of you know how to make a burger? Mike: No Al-X: Nope.avi Larry: Lemme see what burgers are made out of Narrator: 5 minutes later... Larry: so most fast food burgers are made out of leftover food, so gather every piece of leftover food, and put it in this blender. Narrator: 3 minutes later Larry: Ok, let's create our burger (Al-X puts a bunch of left over food on a bowl and burns it until it's charred) Al-X: good enough W.I.P.